My Seat! RIP

Sadly I have to report the demise of another servitor.

It seems irononic that the last two magical operations I have performed have been to absorb (destroy) servitors I have created.

My Seat! was rendered redundant simply because a few days ago the cafe owners decided to re-arrange the furniture. My favourite comfy seat originally located in the best possible spot to observe the world around me is now in the middle of the cafe and the table numbering has gone to pot too. Thus the spec. for the servitor no longer applied and there is no longer a favorite seat to reserve for me.

It was tidier all round to absorb the servitor. This I did this morning.

Forge

MySpace! RIP

In previous posts I have described the frustrations I have felt about other people in my street parking their cars in what I regard as my space when I have been foolish enough to vacate it even for a couple of minutes.

I recounted how I created a servitor to occupy the space on my behalf and how recently I have even supplemented the astral bollard with a large yellow storage tub.

Things came to a head last week when a neighbour moved my bollard to the pavement and parked his 4×4 outside my house. I was incandescent with anger! I grabbed the box and placed it on the roof of his car. But, moments later, after a telling off from my wife, I removed it.

This got me thinking. This was only going to end in one of two ways. Either open warfare with my neighbours or I dump this business of regarding the space in the street outside my house as being my rightful territory.

I chose the latter.

And something wonderful happened. A mass of resentment, tension, indignation, you name it, just went away. It was like a dark, heavy cloud had lifted from me.

Since then there have been times when my space was free and other times it is occupied and whilst my wife and daughter still occasionally vent forth when we turn the corner and see another car in that hallowed space, I just get on with finding a safe place to park.

But what of the MySpace! servitor that is now redundant?

I felt it was appropriate to absorb him. His time had ended and it was good psychic hygiene not to have surplus servitors hanging around.

I retrieved his housing, a crystal hidden in a plant pot in our garden adjacent to the road. I had been given a chunk of rock salt the previous weekend (it’s amazing what ends up in a multi-terrain 10k race goody bag!) and felt that this would provide the salty dip to cleanse the crystal. I took this in a bowl to my quiet place where I created Sacred Space by casting a circle and began the ritual.

I kept it simple:-

I called out to MySpace! whilst looking at his programming symbol.

I visualised him appearing in the circle – a big orange traffic cone with white stripes, angry eyes and threatening spikes radiating out.

When I was satisfied he was fully present I thanked him for his service and told him it was time for him to be ended.

I picked up the bowl which contained the salt water and crystal and washed away the sigil.

“You are hereby ended…

I visualised him breaking up. The fragments moved towards me and I sucked them into me.

… and now you return to me.”

I sucked until satisfied that the servitor was truly absorbed and then gave thanks.

I stayed quiet and motionless for a while and then closed the circle.

Forge

Enter The Servitor “My Seat!”

The servitor known as My Seat! has been created and launched.

My Seat!’s mission is to occupy my favourite seat like a big fat Jabba the Hut squeezing out anyone who is sitting there and giving potential squatters the feeling that the seat they are heading for is already taken.

Here’s the specification.  I have taken out the precise location of the coffee shop to protect its anonymity – if you use this spec you should be as precise as you can as to the target.

Specific Intent:  To manifest on the sofa at table 6 in XXXX Coffee Shop, XXXtown, giving people who are approaching it the impression it is already occupied and incumbents the feeling that they should finish their coffee/food and go in time for my entry into the cafe.

Energy/power source – energised via my ESHE (Energy Store House Entity) directed by me at any time.

Appearance – A large blobby creature not unlike Jabba the Hut

Magical abilities – ability to make its immediate surroundings feel crowded and uncomfortable until I arrive whereby My Seat! will dissipate. Works harmoniously with other servitors.

Housing – n/a     My Seat! to be astral

Activation – to be activated automatically whenever I begin my journey into town with the intention of visiting XXX coffee shop, increasing in effect with every step I take towards the City centre.

Life Span – my lifetime or when absorbed by me

Programming Symbol – a sigil of name

Contact – evoke if necessary using name

Now to see what happens!

Forge

A New Servitor – Time to Create “My Seat”

With what appears to be a “summer recess” having come to a close and the nights drawing in it feels like time to get into the magical work again.

Those of you who recall the servitor Myspace! may be interested to know that I have in the past week supplemented the servitor with a real life makeshift bollard to deter people from parking in the space outside my house.  Whilst I felt Myspace! worked quite a lot of the time, an influx of new people having two cars to park in our little street was just too much for him – and my blood pressure!  Often I’d be gone for only ten minutes and some b**t**d would nip in!!

Undetered and undaunted I am planning to create the servitor mooted a few postings back.  A servitor designed to reserve my favourite (comfy) seat in a particular cafe in our City.

In the intervening months I have indeed done what was suggested.  I have carried out a survey of the occupancy of this seat and can tell you that when it was vacant 52% of the time I visited the cafe.

Once the servitor is created I will monitor the situation again and let’s see what happens!

I see the servitor as a kind of Jabba the Hut entity that will fill the seat when I am en route to the cafe, thus giving people who might be heading towards the seat the impression it is already occupied.

Similarly, if the seat is already occupied the people on it will suddenly feel it’s crowded, will finish their drink etc and will depart.

Frivolous?  Of course it is!

Trivial?  Yep!

Worth a shot?  You bet!

Protrex the Dino Cyclist Protector

I have to confess from the outset – I’m one of the lycra brigade.

Yep, I cycle – with all the flashy gear and hopefully some idea!

Whilst cycling is a great way of getting fit and enjoying the countryside it does have a drawback.

IT’S BLOODY DANGEROUS!

As if the potholes and cow shit on the roads isn’t bad enough, you’ve got other road users to contend with who often just don’t pick you up on their radar until it is too late.  Or they just plain resent you being there and causing them to slow down.

This is not the place to tackle the cyclists v drivers debate – I seen cyclists doing some pretty stupid/provocative/dangerous things in my time – I just want us all to respect each other.

However, I reckon we on two wheels could do with some help and it was on a recent ride I came up with the concept for the Prot(ect) T Rex servitor.

Remember in the Jurassic Park movie when their jeep was chased by the T Rex?  Now imagine a creature of that speed, power and attitude running beside you.  A dino guardian.

I’ve worked up the following specification:-

 Specific Intent:  To protect me as I cycle, guarding me from other road users and warning me of hazards.

Energy/power source – energised via my Energy Store House Entity (pl see previous posts about ESHE  in March and  January 2012) directed by me at any time.

Appearance – A large T Rex

Magical abilities – a dense, threatening presence which prompts other road users to be fully aware of me and treat mewith consideration and courtesy.

Ability to direct my attention to hazards on the road.

Works in harmony with other servitors.

Housing – n/a     Protrex to be astral

Activation – to be activated when called by name out loud.

Life Span – my lifetime or when absorbed by me

Programming Symbol – a sigil of name

Contact – evoke if necessary using name

Of course there is no reason why this protection should be confined to cycling and no reason why it needs to be a T Rex.

It’s a matter of what suits you and your purpose.

Enjoy and be safe, whatever your mode of transport!

Forge

The Parking Eagle Servitor

Whilst I accept that the central thrust of magical work is transformation, there is a lot to be said for doing practical stuff that affects your nitty gritty daily life.

So let me offer you a servitor designed to take some of the frustration out of motoring or, to be precise, finding a place to park your car – the Parking Eagle:-

Specific Intent:  To soar high above me as I drive scouting for parking spaces.

Energy/power source – energised via my ESHE directed by me at any time.

Appearance – A jet black eagle

Magical abilities – ability to locate any parking spaces in the area to which I am travelling.  It encourages people to quit their spaces ahead of me at the optimum time for me to slip in. It guides me to empty spaces. Works harmoniously with other servitors.

Housing – n/a     Parking Eagle to be astral

Activation – to be activated when called by name out loud.

Life Span – my lifetime or when absorbed by me

Programming Symbol – a sigil of name

Contact – evoke if necessary using name