Myspace!

I was getting really fed up of people nicking the parking space outside my house. Okay, so I know I have no legal right to the three metres of curb outside my terraced house but other people parking there brings out the territorial animal in me!

It’s a fact of life in an area of terraced houses with no drives that parking space is at a premium. When we moved into our first such house when we were married it was commonplace for folk to mark their territory with traffic cones. These tended to be respected by prospective interlopers and the system worked until the authorities took back their cones…which we promptly rescued again, of course.

No such system exists in the street outside where I write this. I can be gone literally five minutes only to find someone’s bobbed in there when I get back. It’s just not good for my blood pressure!

I suddenly realised it was getting into a major issue for me (as these things can do) which, given how trivial it really is in the overall scheme of things, is not a healthy thing. So I decided to change the dynamic.

Myspace! was born. A servitor which guards my space when I am away.

Here’s the formula with the particular way I created it (not definitive!):-

Create sacred space and open the quarters

It is my will and desire to create and give life to the entity Myspace! to go forth to protect my parking space.

Raise energy
Controlled breathing

Specific Intent : To prevent other motorists parking their cars in the space immediately in front of my house

Energy/power source – all the energies from vehicles moving up and down the road

Appearance – A big traffic cone – bright orange with white stripes

Magical abilities – you can detect when an approaching driver intends to park in my place. Will expand to a size, bristling with orange spikes, which fully occupies the space, convincing the driver there is inadequate room to park.

Housing – you will be contained in crystal placed nearby

Activation – to be activated whenever my car leaves the parking space

Life Span – my lifetime or when the housing is cleansed

Programming Symbol – a sigil of your name

Contact – evoke if necessary using name

I name you Myspace! and from this day you will be known by this name.

Breathe the colour into the housing crystal
Charge the paper programming symbol
whilst visualising Myspace! working

It is through my will that I now call you into being. You are given life to protect my parking space.

With this symbol I am able to contact you with ease and at any time I so desire, but Myspace!, when this housing is cleansed, so shall your life and purpose be no more, for this is my will and so it is done.

Go in peace, Myspace! and begin your task, remembering to appear to me quickly when called upon.

Be on your way!

Burn programming symbol

Close circle

Now, as I walk outside to unlock my car I say something like “Myspace! deploy!” and visualise him springing from the stone which is in a plantpot in the garden, cunningly hidden by a leaf. As I drive away I visualise its shape filling the space I am vacating.

And does it work? I reckon it does. Okay, there are some drivers in the street who inevitably will not be susceptible to astral traffic cones, but the instances of invasion are certainly fewer.

When I arrive back to an empty space I am careful to thank my faithful servitor (important reinforcement) and encourage my wife to do the same which she probably does just to humour me.

If you have the same problem then why not give it a go!